Love

Maybe I'm watching too much love dramas. It makes you sit there and think wishing your love was that fun and lovable, but when you watch these females going through the pain it makes you wonder even the best guy out there can come around and stab you in the heart and leaving you nothing but pain. I mean is there such thing as real love where the guy just want to be with you and not want to have other females attention. Is there really that one guy that will focus just on me?

So confuse...

Not sure am I doing the right thing, is it right for me to walk away to protect my heart. I can't take this anymore, I don't even trust him at times and the same time I just want him to be happy. I wish 6 months has already past, and that I am much happier...I am so confuse I don't know what to do anymore..

what to do??

Today was a wake up call for me, I gotta learn to walk away walk away for good. Its not a choice anymore its destiny. I can't continue to feel this way anymore to effect my life. I can't be weak anymore to be this insecure. What is happening to me has it gotten worse? Why am I holding on so much why can't I let go?? I need to take the last 6 months to heal myself to make myself stronger, please let today be the new beginning for me. Please let me stop being so weak..I need to think positive, my mind can drive me crazy making me think crazy things and I am face with this challenge and questions keep playing in my mind.

Day 1

I realize that I need to stop caring about him, its hurting me more and more. The best remedy is stop caring. At the end we're both going to walk our separate ways. I'm going to stop telling him how I feel or ask him about his. I don't want to hear about him or know what he's doing, right now I'm slowly trying to get him out of my system it hurts too much and I am not going to let my emotional strain me. I guess you could say after hearing those words come out of his mouth he kind of kill a part of my love, and especially when he said I extended my stay. Back in March when he made a statement about me sleeping around I was really hurt now he's saying it again. He does'nt realize though that I'm coming to the point where not only does his words effect me but it is also kicking some love out of my system. One day I'm just going to realize that enough is enough and whatever love I have for him is gone. I don't even recall him say I'm sorry..maybe the time is here for me to hate him. I will never forgive him for what he said to me or hurt me for saying that. I wish I had not pick up his call on Friday, why o why am I so weak??? I really need to work on that part of myself. Never again will I let another male get in my life and change me..NEVER AGAIN!! I CAN TRULY PROMISE MYSELF THAT~~